From the iSport IPL Paddock: Finally the costliest tournament comes to an end; The Indian Premier League had a roller-coaster ride which saw many ups and downs. iSporter Jigar Mehta lists the things he feels we've learned from the recently concluded IPL 4.
- What is IPL: As perfectly defined by someone: IPL is a clean-smoothly driven tournament in which nine teams compete to play Chennai Super Kings in the final! (3 out of 4 IPL finals for CSK!)
- Dhoni is currently the best captain in World
- Dhoni can win a Final without Sreesanth! (Poor Sreesanth the only hope to get back into the team also gone!)
- Deccan Chargers need treatment for Oikophobia (abnormal fear of the home); having lost six of the seven matches at home or another pick-up coach from Chennai Super Kings who can coach them how to win Home matches.
- The only ones who performed better for the Pune Warriors were their Cheerleaders!
- Leg-spinner Rahul Sharma can generate more bounce than a so-called medium pacer Ajit Agarkar!
- Sri Lankan board learnt that there is no use of defining return dates for players when the calendar is in hands of BCCI.
- Batsmen: Wear 10 pairs of socks with extra-extra-boot-strapping when Malinga is bowling!
- Best motivator of IPL: You only need a Preity Zinta hug to fight back, firing on all cylinders winning four matches on a trot after five losses in a row.
- The tournament taught us that even Ishant Sharma can make mistakes! Yes he by mistakenly bowled a good spell of 5/12 which rattled a hapeless Kochi Tuskers Kerala.
- Murali Vijay can now be selected in Indian team on merit! ( Hope Krishnamachari Srikkanth is not reading this article)
- Shikhar Dhawan finally played for Mumbai Indians when he was not playing for Mumbai Indians! (He made Mumbai reach Playoffs with a blistering 95 against Punjab)
- Every time Sidhu opens his mouth an average of 4 out of 5 cricket fans die of Acousticophobia (fear of noise!), the remaining one suffers hearing-deficiency syndrome!
- Someone please make Ravi Bopara understand that Loyalty comes first! Yes be loyal to BCCI in order to get selected in English team (Poor lad spurned lucarative IPL offers to play four-day Championship cricket as part of his strategy to regain his Test place but his faithfulness was overlooked as selectors opted for Eoin Morgan who spent the six weeks of the season playing Twenty20 in the Indian Premier League)
- There is every chance that a free-lancing Gayle will play in "Kanga League" this year!
- After his last over give-aways, Nehra proved again that he is large-hearted! Yes there was a time when Dada helped his selection in the Indian team and now he returned the favour by helping him get selected when he needed the most by getting himself injured! Dada fans: All hail king Nehra!
- Finally we know the difference between Rajasthan Cricket Association secretary Sanjay Dixit and God: 'Dixit thinks he is God but God doesn't think he is Sanjay Dixit!'
- Finally the Media got to know the use of "Retweet" option of Micro-blogging site Twitter! Thanks to Lalit Modi. (Modi's words on Twitter: "Don't they know the difference between my Tweets and Retweets. I never said anything about Kaif. Just RT". He retweeted 100 odd fan-tweets in 1 hour just to educate media about the retweet option!)
- Who is Balaji: A dark faced "Chetan Sharma" with flashy white teeth! (That's what Rayudu imagined before the last ball six versus KKR).
- Ashwin should utilise his unused batting helmet while bowling too!
- Kochi Tuskers Kerela had 15 cheerleaders in Orange attire spear-headed by S Sreesanth! (Blame it on their Jersey designers)
- Pune paid 2.1 million Dollars for Uthappa to display most proficient form of footwork! Yes a walk back to Pavilion!
- Ness Wadia, Gayatri Reddy, Priety Zinta, and Shilpa Shetty have all made it to the auction list for Shahrukh Khan's benefit match next year!
- Reason for Mumbai's loss: "BCCI": Damn they fired lucky charm cheer leader Gabriella Pasqualotto when Mumbai needed her the most!
- Stands are more than half-empty without Sachin Tendulkar!
- Gayle did get an authorised fitness report for IPL from an authorised Doctor, Yes Dr. Vijay Mallya!
- Apparently you can now buy a "Sanjay Dixit Radio" at a reduced price - the bass is ok, treble is fine but the "pitch" is not spinning!
- Shane Warne's last match was a "Sanjay Dixit benefit match" which fetched a whooping 50,000 dollars!
- IPL: The only option available for Shahid Afridi!
- Reason for Pune's dismal performance: Skipper Yuvraj Singh's 90% of the brains were occupied in finding the right fielding position for Saurav Ganguly!
- Gambhir to skip all international matches until the next IPL as he has a huge burden of 2.4 million Dollars on his shoulders!
- Reasons for Drop in IPL 4 TV ratings: Navjot Sidhu, Danny Morrison and Mpumelelo Mbangwa.
- BCCI saved $100 Million by not having IPL parties and lost $700 Million by not having Lalit Modi!
- Heroes of the Tournament: Dirk Nannes and West Indies Cricket Board!
- Moment of the Tournament: Sachin Tendulkar handing over his Man of the Match award to Ambati Rayudu against Royal Challengers Bangalore.
Due respect to all the people mentioned in this article. Please read it in the spirit of humour
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a guest
said:
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... best of all - ...lolzz - - - "BCCI": Damn they fired lucky charm cheer leader Gabriella Pasqualotto when Mumbai needed her the most! - jigar gandhi |
a guest
said:
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... best of all - ...lolzz - - - "BCCI": Damn they fired lucky charm cheer leader Gabriella Pasqualotto when Mumbai needed her the most! - jigar gandhi |
a guest
said:
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... 29. Shahid Afridi is not allowed to play in IPL because he may bite players too.  BTW, good one |
a guest
said:
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... And Joginder Sharma now has won 1 T-20 World cup, 1 Champions Legaue and 2 IPL's! Is There any thing this chap cant do? |
Pallavi Mohapatra
said:
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... Fantastic one, buddy !! Full of humour..!! 13. point is the best of all, 'My dear friend'  |
a guest
said:
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... wah jigrulaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..................kya baaaaattttttttttttttt haiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii |
teanju
said:
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... And Joginder Sharma now has won 1 T-20 World cup, 1 Champions Legaue and 2 IPL's! Is There any thing this chap cant do |
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